UnCROSSING SWORDS

Article first published as TV Review: CROSSING SWORDS on Seat42F.

Hulu recently premiered CROSSING SWORDS, an animated series in the style of stop-motion featuring little round people with no arms nor discernable legs. It is set in a silly medieval world, the type that could only exist in a cartoon unconcerned with realism, and follows a young squire who is on a quest to be a brave and noble knight. This is all the more challenging when everyone around him, from the monarchy, to his parents and siblings, to his neighbors and friends, have not an ounce of morality in them.

Nicolas Hoult (The Great) stars as Patrick, the squire who so desperately wants a life he can only dream about. His skills are not good, but he does have tenacity. Somehow, despite being the only one around trying to do good, Patrick keeps failing. Thankfully, his buddy Broth (Adam Pally, Happy Endings) will stick by him and show him how to have a good time, even if Broth isn’t helpful at all.

Of course, Patrick is used to not be helped. His sister, Coral (Tara Strong, The Powerpuff Girls), is a pirate queen; his brother, Ruben (Adam Ray, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power), is a forest outlaw; and his other brother, Blarney (Tony Hale, Veep), is a clown. All three tormented him mercilessly as a child, getting him into trouble and sometimes causing bodily harm. Patrick’s parents, Glenn (Breckin Meyer, Franklin & Bash) and Doreen (Wendi McLendon-Covey, The Goldberg), weren’t sympathetic or protective, either. So you see, Patrick has had a rough life.

But like any young, naïve, eternal optimist, Patrick is determined to overcome. Which has led him to seek employ under King Merriman (Luke Evans, The Alienist) and Queen Tulip (Alanna Ubach, Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce), whom are depraved and horrible to one another, as well as their subjects. It’s a small enough kingdom that these rulers immediately know who Patrick is, though they often forget any past dealings with him as soon as he leaves their sight. Or so it seems.

There’s also a wizard, Blinkerquartz (Seth Green, Family Guy), though it’s unclear if he actually knows any magic.

CROSSING SWORDS is created by John Harvatine IV and Tom Root, whose names might be familiar to you if you’re a fan of Robot Chicken, another vulgar stop-motion animated series. Although CROSSING SWORDS isn’t made up of shorts, instead featuring full-length episodes and an ongoing plot, it contains many of the same dick jokes and similar types of humor. People often get kicked in the balls, puked on, and have chum thrown at them. Boobs and dicks are frequently on display on the toys. Death seems to have little meaning.

One might say CROSSING SWORDS is a more complex version of Robot Chicken, as if spun off of one of its shorts. However, the fact that continuity only applies when they feel like it kind of goes against that, even if other animated shows often do the same thing. Most scenes from this new series would feel right at home tucked into that veteran program.

CROSSING SWORDS is not going to earn these guys any new fans, but if you already like their style, then you’ll probably be happy. There’s an all-star voice cast, and although the special effects are jenky (like fire made out of cotton), it fits very well with the toy style. The images are pleasing and cute, contrasting nicely with the comedy. Details are paid attention to, with great visual gags, and the characters even look like their wood is aged and paint is chipping. So it looks fantastic. But people will tune in most likely for the jokes, which only appeal to specific viewers.

CROSSING SWORDS’ first season is available on Hulu and it has been renewed for a second season.

THE ALIENIST Sans Aliens

Article first published as TV Review: THE ALIENIST on Seat42F.

TNT begins a new chapter in their programming with THE ALIENIST. An alienist has nothing to do with extraterrestrials, though TNT has done their share of that type of show. Instead, the term, considered archaic now, refers to someone who practices psychiatry. Which, if you’re following along, means the series is about a person who studies the human psyche in a bygone era. A period piece drama is not the normal fare you’d expect from the network. But does it work?

Not quite. The pacing is slow and the plot is dreadfully plodding. The first word that comes to mind to describe THE ALIENIST is boring. I don’t care about the characters, nor their motivations, which is not a sustainable model for a television show.

TNT is known for works that are fast-paced and somewhat cheesy, so THE ALIENIST is a departure, and that by itself is good. Care has been taken with sets and costumes, so it looks good. This is especially true in an early sequence on a wooden bridge. There aren’t the usual plot holes and cliché dialogue that other programs on the network have contained. The acting is quality, as is the directing. So it’s not the individual elements that are the problem here.

THE ALIENIST stars Daniel Bruhl (Captain America: Civil War) as Dr. Laszlo Kreizler, a doctor who works with the mentally disturbed and tries to treat them. Not cure them, mind you, but make their conditions more manageable. He is assisted by John Moore (Luke Evans, 2017’s Beauty and the Beast), an illustrator who helps Dr. Kreizler see things he cannot, a second pair of eyes who provides other perspective. Rounding out the central trio is Sara Howard (Dakota Fanning, The Runaways), a police clerk who is interested in following the law, but is intrigued by the doctor’s work when it seems more reliable than the old techniques.

These three are decent actors, as anyone who’s seen them in other works can attest. Fanning, once a child actor who has starred in respected films, makes her first foray into series television, and Evans and Bruhl have had some success on screens both large and small. I can’t point to any of the trio as a weak link.

The three begin by trying to clear the name of a man sentenced to death. I would say there is some moral quandary as to whether they should, as the accused is suffering from painful, incurable syphilis anyway. But as all good classic heroes, they are committed to truth and justice, and so seek not just the extension of their ground-breaking work, but to use it to help people, too.

It’s not this somewhat tired premise that spurs the bad review. Although it seems similar to a couple of recent streaming and cable shows, also period pieces, the trappings of the setting and the way the story plays out distract enough from the common formula. It’s just the overall tone, which doesn’t rise to the level of the style of the piece.

THE ALIENIST is also very gory. Gory enough that I couldn’t see it on basic cable in the pre-Walking Dead days. This choice fits well with the story they’re telling, being brutally up front at showing things, not glossing over and romanticizing. In that, I do think the show made the right decision, supporting the premise and plot.

In the end, I must conclude that the show is decent, certainly a step up for TNT, but lacks the charm, intensity, and magnetism that many of the best shows today have.

THE ALIENIST airs Monday evenings on TNT.